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Post by Tamrin on Jun 30, 2008 1:51:07 GMT 10
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Post by thewidowsson on Jul 5, 2008 9:20:28 GMT 10
absolut hysterisch. subs in english, absolutely hysterical.
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Post by Tamrin on Oct 5, 2008 11:51:05 GMT 10
From Phillip Adams', The Inflammable Adams, pp.211/4:
Check out the amazing advantages! The Print Cartridge needs no batteries, operates without AC or DC current. It's fully portable—you can take a Print Cartridge anywhere.
Amazing Technical Features! Fast forward! Flick through the pages at thousands of words a minutes! Exclusive word search facility! Simply use your finger to pick out a favourite noun, verb or adjective! Remember that Print Cartridges offer you Freeze Page! And you can re-read your favourite bits over and over again!
An unbeatable array of titles! Blasts from the past! Contemporary themes! Science fiction! Literally millions of Print Cartridges are already in stock. And they're available in all languages!
Huge savings on video cassettes! Instead of outlaying $70 on a video disc of Breakfast at Tiffany's or War and Peace, read the original for as little as $4.95!
Experience amazing pictures inside your head! Fantastic reproduction ... does not disturb people in the same room!
Fully compatible! Unlike video cassettes which are unplayable on the wrong machine, Print Cartridges (or Paper Cassettes) can be enjoyed by anyone irrespective of their size or shape! All you need is a reasonable standard of literacy.
Fully portable! Carry them anywhere! No special replay system required! Enjoy them everywhere you go—in bed, on the bus, on the loo!
Complete programme choice! Everyone in the room can view their own Paper Cartridge simultaneously!
Skip over boring bits at will! Re-read interesting or spicy bits over and over again!
Totally silent in operation! Not affected by airport x-rays! Guaranteed foolproof! No after sales service required!
No danger of being superseded by a new technology! Print Cartridges have been proven in laboratory experiments over hundreds of years. First developed by mediaeval monks with recent improvements by Guttenberg and Caxton! If you're sick of pictures, feast your eyes on restful word!
Hundreds of new titles constantly available! Do-it-yourself! Self-improvement! Gardening, politics, languages, pornography!
Blank Paper Cassettes are also available for recording purposes! They take pencil, biro or crayon!
Record your own thoughts and impressions! Doodle or draw! And remember that Paper Cassettes use less energy, cut down on electricity bills.
Yes, Paper Cassettes and Print Cartridges are the new, modern, with-it way to blow your mind! Exciting stories about white whales, Christmas ghosts, spectacular Russian wars! Go 20,000 leagues beneath the sea with Jules Verne or fly to Mars with Ray Bradbury! You've seen the movie and watched the mini-series—now read the Paper Cassette!
And remember, Paper Cassettes are not interrupted by TV commercials.
Limp or stiff! High brow or low brow! Instead of closing your mind, open some covers today.
STOP PRESS:
PRINT CARTRIDGES ARE DIGITAL! That is, they are typed with digits.
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