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Post by synchronicity on Nov 6, 2008 22:25:20 GMT 10
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Post by synchronicity on Nov 6, 2008 22:30:00 GMT 10
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Post by synchronicity on Nov 6, 2008 22:32:39 GMT 10
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Post by synchronicity on Nov 6, 2008 22:36:47 GMT 10
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Post by synchronicity on Nov 6, 2008 22:38:50 GMT 10
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Post by synchronicity on Nov 6, 2008 22:41:52 GMT 10
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Post by synchronicity on Nov 6, 2008 22:53:42 GMT 10
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Post by synchronicity on Nov 6, 2008 23:19:39 GMT 10
Why did the chicken cross the road?
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
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Post by synchronicity on Nov 7, 2008 0:32:10 GMT 10
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? PHILLIP RUDDOCK: I don't care why the chicken crossed the road it should be sent back to where it came from. Who knows what might happen if we keep letting any old chicken cross the road. We could be inundated with them. Send them to the farmer up the road a bit and we can pay him to deal with the problem. JEFF KENNETT: If the chicken did cross the road it should have been fitted with an etag and should pay the same toll as all other road users. STEVE BRACKS: Regional chickens should have the same opportunities to cross roads as chickens living in Melbourne. JOHN HOWARD: The chick never crossed the road. And it was not forcibly removed from its mother! Anyway, that's a matter for the states and is of no interest to us. The United Nations should butt out. KIM BEAZLEY: There WAS a chicken and it DID cross the road. This is a deliberate act by the government to hide the fact that chickens continue to cross Australian roads. NATASHA STOTT-DESPOJA: What if it was not a chicken but a bantam? Minority sectors of our community shouldn't be discriminated against based purely on the size of their eggs and legs. EVELYN SCOTT: To demonstrate a commitment to reconciliation with Indigenous chickens. PETER COSTELLO: According to documentation submitted to the Live Foods Processing Authority, the chicken in question was uncooked at the time of its journey and therefore will not incur a GST charge. However, if that chicken actually crossed the road for profit, regardless of its raw/cooked status, the road crossing would be considered by the ATO to be a service for which GST will be imposed. PAULINE HANSON: Please explain. ROBERT DE NIRO: Are you telling me the chicken crossed that road? Is that what you're telling me? REV FRED NILE: Because the chicken is gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the 'other side'. That's what 'they call it: the 'other side' Yes, my friends. CAPTAIN JAMES T KIRK: to boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
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Post by synchronicity on Nov 7, 2008 0:34:05 GMT 10
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