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Post by synchronicity on Nov 30, 2008 22:50:29 GMT 10
Dog Haiku
I love my master; Thus I perfume myself with This long-rotten squirrel.
I lie belly-up In the sunshine, happier than You ever will be
Today I sniffed Many dog butts-I celebrate By kissing your face.
I sound the alarm! Paperboy-come to kill us all- Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I sound the alarm! Mailman Fiend-come to kill us all- Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I sound the alarm! Meter reader-come to kill all- Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I sound the alarm! Garbage man-come to kill us all- Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I sound the alarm! Neighbor's cat-come to kill us all! Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I lift my leg and Wiz on each bush. Hello, Spot - Sniff this and weep
How do I love thee? The ways are numberless as My hairs on the rug.
My human is home! I am so ecstatic I have Made a puddle
I hate my choke chain - Look, world, they strangle me! Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!
Sleeping here, my chin On your foot - no greater bliss - well, Maybe catching cats
Look in my eyes and Deny it. No human could Love you as much I do
The cat is not all Bad-she fills the litter box With Tootsie Rolls
Dig under fence-why? Because it's there. Because it's There. Because it's there.
I am your best friend, Now, always, and especially When you are eating.
You may call them fleas, But they are far more -I call Them a vocation
My owners' mood is Romantic-I lie near their Feet. I fart a big one.
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Post by synchronicity on Nov 30, 2008 22:54:09 GMT 10
DOG RULES
1. The dog is NOT allowed in the house.
2. OK, the dog IS allowed in the house, but ONLY in certain rooms.
3. The dog is allowed in ALL rooms, but must stay off the furniture.
4. The dog can get on the OLD furniture ONLY.
5. FINE, the dog is allowed on ALL the furniture, but he is NOT allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.
6. The dog CAN sleep on the bed, but NOT under the covers.
7. The dog CAN sleep under the covers by invitation ONLY.
8. The dog CAN sleep under the covers EVERY NIGHT.
9. Humans MUST ASK permission to sleep under the COVERS with the dog!
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Post by synchronicity on Dec 2, 2008 6:25:01 GMT 10
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