|
Post by Tamrin on Aug 29, 2008 8:55:17 GMT 10
Mental Health Crisis Team Phone Menu [/b][/size][/color][/center] Please choose one of the following options:- If you have obsessive-compulsive disorder, press 1 over and over and over again;
- If you have multiple personality disorder, touch 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8.
- If you are hysterical, don't touch any buttons whatsoever, something terrible might happen;
- If you have bipolar disorder, touch 1, then 9;
- If you are schizophrenic, don't touch any buttons, a little voice will tell you what to do;
- If you are paranoid, there is no need to touch any buttons. We know who you are, we know where you live, and we will be coming to get you very soon.
- If you are psychopathic, rip the cord out of the wall and run away with the phone;
- If you are anal-retentively psychopathic, take the phone apart. Place each piece in a plastic bag. Tape each plastic bag tightly shut. Place all the plastic bags into a large, brown paper bag, which you then place in the southeast corner of your freezer.
- If you are depressed, do not touch any buttons. It wouldn't do any good anyway.
- If you are manic, touch as many buttons as you can as fast as possible;
- If you are narcissistic, touch yourself.
|
|